Bouncing Terror
by Pastaaaaaaa
Summary: CRACK! / Canada has a phobia of large breasts and gets stuck in an elevator with Ukraine. / NOT A PAIRING.


An adventure into the realms of pure crack. Part 1 of a billion.

Canada ( with phobia ) x Ukraine.

Enjoitsu.

* * *

Canada hugged the little take-out box to himself with one arm, the other clutching Kumakija tightly to his chest. The smell of pancakes drifted through the elevator he found himself in, causing Kujimara's stomach to rumble, making the little bear tug at Canada's sleeves, collar, shirt, anything he could grab.

"Hey you, I'm hungry." the bear squeaked out, wriggling in Canada's arm.

"Not right now, Kirajiro."

"I'm Kumajiro. Who are you?"

"I'm Canada."

He blinked and set the bear down next to his feet, diverting his attention to the take-out box, instead. Pancakes! From IHOP, as a matter of fact. Today's World Conference Meeting was to take place in America and Canada, though he preferred his own pancakes, had gone to IHOP in order to sate his craving for the little hotcake. Actually, he was starting to want some of his leftovers right now. And there was no harm in eating them, he thought, if anybody were to come onto the elevator they wouldn't notice him anyway.

With that thought in mind he grabbed a fork, opened the little box and began munching away.

He barely noticed the sound of drums as the elevator ascended; it was probably Prussia practicing for that band of his… Ore-sama no Band… Or whatever it was called. The crazy German's band with his best friends, Spain and France. He thought it was more like noise than actual music, but everybody had their own preferences he decided.

He nibbled away at a particularly tasty pancake, syrup provide by himself, of course. America's syrup was all so… American. He wrinkled his nose, lost in thought and the absolute deliciousness of his pancakes. He certainly didn't notice the elevator door open, a certain girl walk in, and then the doors closing.

Which was all fine and well, she didn't notice him, either.

Canada did notice the constant banging of drums being louder, closer now, piercing through the elevator's muzak. Where **was** that noise coming from?

He glanced up, catching sight of the back of another nation, female. He put his head down, offering the box of pancakes- or pancake, rather- to Kumakichi as he pondered who the nation could possibly be.

And as he pondered he felt the elevator lurch to a halt. A scream resonated through the small space and the emergency lights came on, only for Canada to find himself face-to-face with Ukraine's ridiculously large breasts.

Another scream pierced the now-silence of the elevator. This time from Canada. The blond nation slammed himself against the wall in an attempt to get away from the female, only for her to do the same on the opposite side of the elevator, startled beyond compare by the Canadian's scream.

"Oh! America!" Ukraine cried once she had calmed down enough to notice the blonde.

"N-n-no… I…" Canada twitched, keeping his gaze averted away from Ukraine as he pressed himself as flat as he could against the wall, trying to keep as far from her as he possibly could.

"America, I'm so scared! Why are we stuck?" she began crying, slumping down against the wall with her knees pulled up tightly against her chest.

Canada peered around the elevator, unable to get far enough away from the crying mass of bouncing breasts. That's all Canada saw, anyway. And heard, for that matter.

Ever since the first time he saw Ukraine and her bouncing terrors, moving as if they had a mind of their own, the poor Canadian had been absolutely terrified of large breasts. Not just breasts, large ones.

What was large?

Well…

Ukraine's cries became loud enough to shock Canada out of his thought and prompt a shiver of fright to rack his body. "I don't… I'm not Ame-"

His words were cut off as the Ukrainian woman shot across the elevator, latching onto Canada for some sort of comfort, her arms wrapping tightly around the poor boy's shoulders, hugging his face as if she were attempting to suffocate him.

And suffocate him she did, her enormous breasts pressing uncomfortably against the Canadian's face. He let out a yell, more like a scream, and shoved the girl as hard as he could in the opposite direction.

Unfortunately, as hard as Canada could shove was not very hard at all and he continued to remain Ukraine's squeeze toy, face nestled between her very plentiful bosom. He was about to burst into tears when the elevator lurched, sending Ukraine tumbling backwards, Canada falling on top of her.

He immediately gathered himself, pulling his face from her cleavage as he jumped backwards, back to his corner where Kumakaji sat licking the syrup from the little to-go container. He glanced up towards Canada but otherwise paid him no heed as he continued his task of cleaning the box.

Canada panted heavily, his face flushed with fear and frustration, Ukraine sat against the wall again, her legs splayed out in front of her while her sobs ebbed, the muzak calming her for some unknown reason.

As she took heaving breaths her breasts bounced of their own accord, the horrifying drumming noise echoed through the elevator and Canada sat curled up in the corner, placing Kijamaru in front of himself so that the bear was between him and Ukraine.

The elevator dinged, announcing they were on the conference's floor.

Canada scrambled for the door, nearly forgetting his bear. He practically dove out of the door, shoving past Russia- who had been waiting for the sister he had been separated from in the lobby. For some reason she had gotten onto the wrong elevator and ended up on the wrong floor.

Russia blinked, watching the Canadian dash into the conference room, face flushed and breathing heavy.

He peered into the elevator and spotted Ukraine sitting against the wall, a button on her shirt ripped from the vigorous bouncing and her blushing face streaked with dried tears.

He blinked again, looking back and forth between the elevator and the conference room door.

"Sister?"

* * *

A/N :: In my mind, the Bad Touch was in the control room, fully aware of Canada's phobia and greatly amused by keeping the two locked in the elevator. 8D


End file.
